Men’s Health Week is an opportunity to focus on the challenges that can affect men’s mental and physical wellbeing. For fathers and young men affected by a childhood brain tumour, those challenges can be significant.
Parents often focus entirely on supporting their child through treatment and recovery, while young people may struggle with changes to their confidence, independence and relationships. The experiences of Tom’s Trust families highlight why access to psychological support is so important, and why conversations about men’s mental health matter.
The pressure to stay strong
For many fathers, a child’s brain tumour diagnosis brings an overwhelming pressure to hold everything together for their family.
When Peter’s son Luke was diagnosed with a low-grade craniopharyngioma at the age of 12, he felt responsible for staying strong despite his own fears and uncertainty.
“The feeling of being strong for everyone was intense. I felt that if I broke down everyone else would as well.”
Andy experienced similar emotions when his daughter Emily was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 2022.
“A sinking feeling went through me, and my heart was pounding in my chest. You desperately don’t want it to be bad news, but you could sense it wasn’t good.”
The emotional impact can also take a physical toll. Peter believes his focus on Luke’s care may have contributed to him overlooking symptoms of his own kidney cancer, while Andy lost around two stone in the weeks following Emily’s diagnosis as he and his wife struggled to eat and sleep.
Luke, Peter and Luke’s younger brother
Young men face challenges too
For young people living with the effects of a brain tumour, the impact can extend far beyond treatment.
Faris, now 20 and one of Tom’s Trust’s Young Ambassadors, experienced significant complications during treatment and recovery. Alongside the physical effects, his confidence suffered and he found it difficult to maintain friendships and independence.
“In terms of my physical health, I definitely lost a lot of motivation and a lot of confidence when it came to leaving the house on my own, which barred me from seeing my friends.”
Young Ambassador Faris
The difference support can make
Specialist psychological support can help families navigate the challenges that come with a childhood brain tumour diagnosis.
Peter and Luke received support from a Tom’s Trust clinical psychologist at Addenbrooke’s Hospital, while Faris credits his psychological wellbeing practitioner with helping him manage treatment and return to school.
For Andy and his family, support continued through bereavement after Emily died just 11 days after her diagnosis.
“It is hard to put into words, or measure the impact that our support from our clinical psychologist has had on us. I’ve used the phrase ‘life-saver’ before and I don’t choose those words lightly.”
Harry, Andy and Sarah showing a picture of Emily
Seeking support is a sign of strength
Dr Lynda Teape, Director of Services Development at Tom’s Trust, says seeking help is not a sign of weakness.
“It shows incredible strength to be able to open up to someone and be willing to have those conversations, which will benefit you and those around you.”
This Men’s Health Week, we want to remind fathers, young men and families that support is available. Looking after your mental health is not a sign of weakness. Whether you’re living with a brain tumour diagnosis yourself or supporting someone you love, reaching out for help can make all the difference.
No one should have to face the impact of a childhood brain tumour alone.
If you or someone you know is seeking mental health support, please contact the below helplines:
Movember’s support page links – Movember – Men’s Health
Calm’s emergency advice links – Use our tools and get help for your mental health | Mind – Mind
Samaritans – Call 116 123 (lines are open 24 hours a day seven days a week), or email jo@samaritans.org